The Room

What Is Going On...Seriously?

Director: Tommy Wiseau
Release Date: 2003
Rating: 15
Running Time: 100mins
Genre: Soapy crap
Sarring: Tommy Wiseau

"I didn't hit her, it's not true, it's b*llsh*t, I did not hit her....Oh hai Mark"

Wow! Wow wow wow! I knew this film was awarded a status of 'The Worst Film of All Time', but I thought, can it really be worse than Piranha DD? The Keith Lemon Film? Sharknado 2? MegaShark vs GiantOctopus? The answer, yes. For me, normally any kind of film that is the title with any kind of fish mutation in it should be branded as complete crap. Even film like The Human Centipede Trilogy, which I find to be a complete insult to cinema and should never have been made, surely have a better story line than this pile of soapy crap, Tommy Wisseau decided to inaptly name The Room. Names more applicable could've been The Never Ending Sex Scene or Throw up in your popcorn at the sight of my bare ass or even Haha You've Given Me You're Money For This Sh*t. But no, he chose The Room, and in doing so, made cinema history, for pretty much all the wrong reasons.

You cannot help but laugh at this dross. It's not laughing with, that's one thing I should really stress. It's laughing at. Not only is the script so poorly written and filled with so many sudden mood changes, and a serious lack of narrative flow and structure, the acting is just abismle. Tommy Wiseau cannot act. He just can't. Audiences love him, but I think more pity him. The man is a complete enigma. Where he found the films budget of $6 million anywhere is a complete mystery, and why anyone would green-light this...whatever it is...is beyond me. 

Not only do we have to sit throw these awful scenes, we then have to sit through them constantly as they are recycled over and over again, with different costumes and less members of the audience to watch. You have to wonder if half of this film is made up with just establishing shots, which I'll be honest, are the best parts of the film, giving audiences a chance to shout (entirely out of boredom and lack of excitement) 'Meanwhile in San Francisco...' to which the film continues, even if our hopes of ever getting out grow thin. I'm presuming that the reason so many of these comical games were created around viewing this film, is to simply pass the time and get through it without loosing the will to live. Needless to say, if you watch this film by yourself, you will be, bored, uninspired, confused and have I said bored already? Nope, the only way that you will get through The Room is to sit with a big group of people that are open minded enough to stay for the whole film and scream abuse at its entirety. 

So, the big question is...Is Tommy Wiseau a genius? Was he a man that knew exactly what he was doing, making a low budget soap opera ending in something that we just wish happened at the start. Or is he still a complete narcissist that believes his film is a work of art? Either way, it was bad enough to get everyone talking and curious to watch it and for that, he's gained a lot of love and success. I don't know what it is, and maybe no one does, but people enjoy watching the poor guy attempt to act. If Tommy wasn't in it and the character of Johnny was played by a different actor, would the film still be credited for being so funny, my guess is no. Instead, it would be just awful..er.

So The Room, how can you sum it up? It happened. And we have to all live with that now. But seriously, if you haven't seen it, I suggest you do, and that way you can decide if it really is as bad as you think. Wiseau actually stated once that 'You don't have to like The Room, but there will be something, maybe the tiniest thing that will make you think, hang on? I want to see more'. Well Tommy I'm not one hundred percent sure if that's right but I think we can all walk away having had many laughs, so should we love it for that reason? In fact, a close friend of mine actually stated that he thinks the film to be 'a masterpiece', but is this just sarcastic irony? Maybe we all take away something from this, or maybe it is just shallow nothingness. Either way, I've never seen anything quite like it, but does that make The Room's unique status something to be marvelled at.

We could spend hours trying to encript secret messages and meanings spread out through The Room, but really, it just sucks.

1/10